So last night I was spending some time with God. By myself having a conversation I was expressing to Him my fear of staffing a DTS again, and He spoke very clearly to me. "Ryan, because you realize that you aren't ready, that than makes you ready. Your awareness of your limits will draw you closer to me" He told me that because I am not ready I will be more dependent on Him and be constantly seeking His guidance. Thus making me truly ready! How crazy is that. Than God went on to show me that when He gives us vision and we take that vision and begin to make it our own, that is put God on the bench and we take our place in the limelight and make it our fight alone; thats when we get consumed and over run. That is when the enemy wins. So my advice is to never lose sight of the truth that God is my Lord first, my savior second. Lord, as in He tells me what to do and I do it. I do not trump Him, I can question Him but only to the point of gaining more information to better carry out the task at hand! So dont set God on the side lines. Make Him your quarterback and let the game of life unfold before you!
God truly does speak to me, not just me though; you as well. Did you know that christianity is not meant to be a religion but it is and always has been a personal relationship between the potter and the clay? The creator and the created! Outrageous I know, but when you see the truth in it, everything else begins to fall into place.
So last night I was spending some time with God. By myself having a conversation I was expressing to Him my fear of staffing a DTS again, and He spoke very clearly to me. "Ryan, because you realize that you aren't ready, that than makes you ready. Your awareness of your limits will draw you closer to me" He told me that because I am not ready I will be more dependent on Him and be constantly seeking His guidance. Thus making me truly ready! How crazy is that. Than God went on to show me that when He gives us vision and we take that vision and begin to make it our own, that is put God on the bench and we take our place in the limelight and make it our fight alone; thats when we get consumed and over run. That is when the enemy wins. So my advice is to never lose sight of the truth that God is my Lord first, my savior second. Lord, as in He tells me what to do and I do it. I do not trump Him, I can question Him but only to the point of gaining more information to better carry out the task at hand! So dont set God on the side lines. Make Him your quarterback and let the game of life unfold before you!
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What is it that creates Fear of the Lord in you? I have never before understood what fear of the Lord is. It was explained to me today. It is revering the Lord and disregarding your anxiety of men. An interesting concept to say the least. Yet I was reminded of the goodness of God. How God never stops pursuing us as individuals. He is the one who died on the cross. He chose to create and to love us. It is Him who we will spend eternity with. It only makes sense that we drop all things when God calls us to something higher.
There are a plethora of examples in the old testament as to what living in the Fear of God is like. We can look at David, or Daniel, or Elijah. All wonderful examples. We live in a new time though. we need better understanding of how to live. So I look to Ephesians 5. I gain my understanding of how to live by the example Jesus and His disciples set. Constantly giving God glory. Understanding that growth comes in many forms even disappointment. It is not something that happens naturally. Having fear of God is learned, practiced, and never fully grasped. Though I would not want to have it any other way! Fear of the Lord isn't acting in cowardice, it is being bold and filled with Respect for the One who did everything for us! Please if you feel I have missed something or am mistaken, I would love feed back on this topic. Christianity is meant to be shared and discussed. So I would love some feedback! God is a redeemer. My life is filled with redemption. I can't begin to explain all the good things that have happened. All the relationships that are being repaired. All the promises that are being filled. All because God is a redeemer. I love my God! I love Him with my whole heart. I serve my god. I offer Him my life. There is no other way. Than to live with Christ today!
All it takes is this, a desire for change. If you can see yourself in a new light, if you can invision a better you; what would it look like? My hope is that you would desire a better life. Full of energy and joy. Doing anything and everything for the good of humanity. Isn't that where our community on a massive scale is going? Global green. A desire to improve our standard of living. I am totally for it. But I have noticed that we are trying to fix the fruit we produce rather than attack the root. Instead of trying to improve the planet we need to improve ourselves from the inside out.
I can't make any changes that will stick in this life unless I first fix what is wrong on the inside. If I want to show love I must first love myself. If I want to gather wealth I must desire to give rather than receive. For blessing begets blessing. If I desire to live life to the fullest, than I can't live this life of mine for myself. Now that last statement might spark a debate so let me be perfectly clear. I believe that we as men and women were created for the sole purpose of living for each other and not for ourselves. Some of you may think I am crazy, but let me say this; in the corporate world someone doesn't rise to the top without people being underneath. Maybe those people are content, maybe they aren't; it's not my place to say. My point though is that people need each other. The sooner we realize this the sooner we can move on into an improved way of life. Selfishness has just been uprooted by the revelation that we are dependent creatures, not independent. Ok so whats next, if we aren't selfish, that means we are selfless. Living for others. So the way we behave has to change. Since the root changes. Our values than change. They become that of a different nature. One that is considerate, tender, pleasant, and merciful. New understanding arrises that we are to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to each other for the benefit of us all as a whole. When values change decisions change. Because decisions reflect what you hold near and dear to your heart, also known as your character. You begin to desire to please others. You are filled with compassion thus sparking action. Action is the duty carried out stemming from your beliefs buried deep within. Your actions show the truth. So what do your actions depict? My hope is that mine show that Christ is in my soul. That He is Lord over my life. Christianity to me is not a religion. It is a relationship with God, it is my way of life! Forgiveness. The trickiest subject, yet Jesus spoke so clearly on it. Simon Peter asks Jesus, teacher how much must we forgive, 7 times? No, not seven times but seven times 70. His point is that we must always forgive. Jesus while walking this earth forgave everyone He met. While hanging on the cross His last breath was father forgive them for they know not what they do! Jesus taught forgiveness. He portrayed forgiveness. He was forgiveness.
He did say this though in Matthew "If you do not forgive men their sins, your father in heaven will not forgive you yours." All men, not just some men. That includes women and children. What most people dont realize is that includes themselves too. We are called to forgive ourselves. Jesus died on the cross. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. When we dont forgive ourselves for the things we have done. When we carry a burden that we aren't meant to carry because Jesus already took it from us. When we believe it's what we deserve, to feel shame and guilt and pain for our entire lives; we are telling Jesus it wasn't good enough. That He wasn't good enough. I don't know about you, but I know that I can't take away my sins. I will never do anything worthy of freedom. But when Jesus died and said believe on me, for you have been forgiven. I will jump on it. I will hold onto it for dear life! I AM FORGIVEN. BY MY CREATOR I AM FORGIVEN. That is enough for me. I will forgive myself. I will not look back because I can't change the past. I will move forward taking care to place one foot in front of the other. Because I can change today. I determine what I do and how I act. :) Sometimes I forget how truly blessed I am and how much I have to praise God with. I am so loved by my father in heaven. He sees me, He knows my name, He has amazing plans for me beyond my wildest dreams. My plans for life are simple compared to His plans! I have so much to be thankful for. It also dawned on me yesterday that for things to improve not just in your life but also in your mind, it starts with gratitude. I got up and confessed true gratitude yesterday to my Lord and my Savior and it brought so much freedom to my heart and my mind. It brought me to tears to be truly thankful to God for all He has done for me. My only hope is that I begin to express my gratitude not just with words but with actions. By loving others the way I am loved. By sharing Gods love with all, and by going through my days with joy and thankfulness for all things!
If you find yourself in a pit, or having a hard day, give thanks to God. For this is the day that He has made. Rejoice and be glad in it! For He knows the plans that He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future! Take heart and give thanks. David while running for his life stopped to thank God. Daniel in the middle of a city full of hatred stopped to give thanks. Jesus broke bread and gave thanks. Paul always thanked people. We have many great examples of men and women who stopped to give thanks before and during hard times and even more so during times of peace. So lets all take a moment, stop; and give thanks to the King of Kings! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh; staff training is blowing my mind. I am becoming more excited and getting more nervous all at the same time. They announced outreach locations today and my heart was beating rapidly. There are places all over the world that we as staff get the opportunity to pour our hearts and lives in to. Now I am not allowed to talk about the locations publicly yet, but let me just say that God has some gnarly places He wants to blow up with His presence. The Gospel is going forth. I wrote down my top 2 desires, but I also stated that I am submissive. If through prayer my leaders feel I should take a team somewhere I did not consider I won't argue. WOW God is so good!
This past weekend our AWAKEN family got together to grow closer to each other. The AWAKEN family is each person that is a staff member for AWAKEN DTS this summer. Let me tell you, it was an incredible weekend. We all grew in love for each other and relationships were formed that I never knew could. God is showing us that He has a master plan for us as individuals but that together we become a driving force for His kingdom that is not to be reckoned with!
Between testimony sharing and adventures I am filled with more understanding of who God is and who I am than I have ever before in my life. I am so excited to embark on the journey of running with such amazing men and women of God as we lead others in the direction of Christ. There is no greater reward than to sacrifice your time energy and lives with people you love and care for, for the good of others! That is what we as staff choose to do. Lay down our lives for our friends. YWAM is incredible!!!! I can't believe it, the time is finally here. We start staff training this coming Monday. I get to learn how to properly disciple those around me in the ways of Christ. How to walk with Him day by day! I can't tell you how excited I am, how nervous I am. I have already taken the liberty of pouring into some of the students I will be walking with over Facebook. They are a great bunch of people. All have heard the call of the Lord and are stepping out in faith. They say that they have butterflies, I feel that they have no idea. Hahahaha.
Time has flown by. I just 1 year ago I was rocking the boat of decision on weather or not YWAM was truly where I needed to be. Today I stand upon the rock of understanding that coming here was the best decision of my life! Wow God is good!!!! |
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June 2018
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