I don't know what it is that I want to convey. I am siting in my room and it is midnight but I cant shut my eyes. I would like to say that I am focused on some important task but the truth is that today was pretty mundane. I think that I am desiring more and I don't know how to proceed. I want a deeper relationship with God. I long for more purpose. I am about to embark on the journey of staffing a DTS. This makes me slightly excited, very nervous; but most of all it allows for a plethora of questions to entangle themselves in my mind. I so wish that living a lifestyle based on Christ was easy. Simple. Pleasant. I am learning that although there are moments of pure bliss, and times of much joy, as well as moments where grace knocks on your front door. Following God is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever chosen to do.
I used to sell drugs. There was a time where I slept on the streets. I lived an intense lifestyle for quite sometime. Nothing has been harder for me. It is a daily occurrence to lay down my life for those around me. I am constantly putting others first. No longer living a selfish lifestyle. I am choosing to give my time money and talents to something I don't fully understand.
Yet I will say that this last year has changed me a lot. I enjoy reading my bible. I look forward to spending alone time with God; praying and resting in His presence. I am remaining single to focus on God and reaping the pleasantries of a single life! These are things I have not done or had in a long time. I am grateful for them.
My deepest desire is that I could carry and emanate joy at all times. Maybe some day I will. Time will tell. I am praying that I can stay focused on the task at hand. Rather than reminisce about the past.
I chose to leave my town friends and family. God asked me to become a fisher of man. How could I refuse? Pray for me, Joshua 1:9 is a verse that will forever go with me. Pray that God shows me how to trust Him with all that I am!
I used to sell drugs. There was a time where I slept on the streets. I lived an intense lifestyle for quite sometime. Nothing has been harder for me. It is a daily occurrence to lay down my life for those around me. I am constantly putting others first. No longer living a selfish lifestyle. I am choosing to give my time money and talents to something I don't fully understand.
Yet I will say that this last year has changed me a lot. I enjoy reading my bible. I look forward to spending alone time with God; praying and resting in His presence. I am remaining single to focus on God and reaping the pleasantries of a single life! These are things I have not done or had in a long time. I am grateful for them.
My deepest desire is that I could carry and emanate joy at all times. Maybe some day I will. Time will tell. I am praying that I can stay focused on the task at hand. Rather than reminisce about the past.
I chose to leave my town friends and family. God asked me to become a fisher of man. How could I refuse? Pray for me, Joshua 1:9 is a verse that will forever go with me. Pray that God shows me how to trust Him with all that I am!